So - the weekend is just way too short. I mean, honestly - it should be 5 days off, 2 days on (but with the same salary.)
Saturday:
We took Baby Dog to the vet in the morning - mostly for her next set of shots, but also to address this poop-eating habit she has picked up. It really upsets me that my dog eats poop. My dog eats poop! It's so disgusting. I mean granted - she's eating old, hard poop... it's not like she drops a steamer and turns around and starts chowing down - if she did that, I think I would have to disown her. But still - eating old, hard poop is still pretty gross. That first day - I caught her, and was so disgusted I gave her a bath immediately. She wasn't dirty in the conventional sense... but she was dirty to me. And then, for the rest of the day, I only referred to her as "Filthy Poo-Eater" - and she looked at me like she was offended. And I thought we had gotten over it... she didn't eat poop for two days after that. And now, she has started again. The vet says it's because the mom eats the puppies' poop to keep the kennel clean, and the puppy picks up on the habit. I think it's because she's a Filthy Poo-Eater.
Bad Thing: Baby Dog psychologically eff'd - she eats poop.
Good Thing: Baby Dog is physically healthy - and will now never contract the dreaded Kennel Cough (dun dun dun)
Side Note: As I read this, I think: "Ha! She called the shit 'poop'!"
Sunday:
I woke up feeling like ASS. I couldn't sleep. Well actually - I could sleep, but I wished I hadn't because I had these terrifying dreams... There were zombies chasing me. They wanted my heart. And then - there were werewolves too. They wanted my flesh. I know that zombies usually want brains, but in this case they were going for my heart. Either way, it's terrifying. Especially terrifying if you have an inexplicable (and irrational) fear of zombies. Fear isn't even the word - I am terrified of them. It's actually really sad. And werewolves terrify me too. I don't like the way they transform - it's incredibly disturbing.
Anyway, these nightmares (plural - because I wake up and fall back to sleep and BAM! I'm once again being chased by zombies and werewolves... I can't escape this nightmare!) - these nightmares really messed with my head, and I was kind of still scared all day. It was dreary and rainy and I felt like the zombies and werewolves could possibly still be after me. It's annoying because it's irrational.
Bad Thing: Zombies and werewolves haunt me in my sleep.
Good Thing: Zombies and werewolves don't haunt me in real life.
Side Note: One time not too long ago, my fiancee was pretending to be a zombie and it scared me so much I punched him in the face. I warned him first though. He was still pretty pissed about it.
That's about all I have to say right now - I'm sure as the day goes on, I'll have plenty of work-related bullshit to bitch about!
Saturday:
We took Baby Dog to the vet in the morning - mostly for her next set of shots, but also to address this poop-eating habit she has picked up. It really upsets me that my dog eats poop. My dog eats poop! It's so disgusting. I mean granted - she's eating old, hard poop... it's not like she drops a steamer and turns around and starts chowing down - if she did that, I think I would have to disown her. But still - eating old, hard poop is still pretty gross. That first day - I caught her, and was so disgusted I gave her a bath immediately. She wasn't dirty in the conventional sense... but she was dirty to me. And then, for the rest of the day, I only referred to her as "Filthy Poo-Eater" - and she looked at me like she was offended. And I thought we had gotten over it... she didn't eat poop for two days after that. And now, she has started again. The vet says it's because the mom eats the puppies' poop to keep the kennel clean, and the puppy picks up on the habit. I think it's because she's a Filthy Poo-Eater.
Bad Thing: Baby Dog psychologically eff'd - she eats poop.
Good Thing: Baby Dog is physically healthy - and will now never contract the dreaded Kennel Cough (dun dun dun)
Side Note: As I read this, I think: "Ha! She called the shit 'poop'!"
Sunday:
I woke up feeling like ASS. I couldn't sleep. Well actually - I could sleep, but I wished I hadn't because I had these terrifying dreams... There were zombies chasing me. They wanted my heart. And then - there were werewolves too. They wanted my flesh. I know that zombies usually want brains, but in this case they were going for my heart. Either way, it's terrifying. Especially terrifying if you have an inexplicable (and irrational) fear of zombies. Fear isn't even the word - I am terrified of them. It's actually really sad. And werewolves terrify me too. I don't like the way they transform - it's incredibly disturbing.
Anyway, these nightmares (plural - because I wake up and fall back to sleep and BAM! I'm once again being chased by zombies and werewolves... I can't escape this nightmare!) - these nightmares really messed with my head, and I was kind of still scared all day. It was dreary and rainy and I felt like the zombies and werewolves could possibly still be after me. It's annoying because it's irrational.
Bad Thing: Zombies and werewolves haunt me in my sleep.
Good Thing: Zombies and werewolves don't haunt me in real life.
Side Note: One time not too long ago, my fiancee was pretending to be a zombie and it scared me so much I punched him in the face. I warned him first though. He was still pretty pissed about it.
That's about all I have to say right now - I'm sure as the day goes on, I'll have plenty of work-related bullshit to bitch about!
hahaha i continue to love the blogging!
ReplyDeletei have dreams of scary bears lately. not zombie bears, or werebears, just bears. but have you seen those news clips of bears coming into stores and wandering through cities? i think we should barracade (or bearacade..) the office door.
Ahhhhhh! Bearacade! I LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteI used to dream of bears ALL THE TIME back when I was boxing... since I've stopped, the dreams have gone away. There is some kind of connection there, I'm still working on figuring it out.
Dr. Phil would say well the simple solution to the poop eating puppy is, to clean up those hot steamers when their hot and steamy and don't let them get hard.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sage advice, Wilbur...
ReplyDeleteAre you serious "Wilbur" talk about getting picked last in gym class or having your ass handed to you by the school bully on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteAhhahaha frigging nice! threw down the zombie card - I have atleast 2 zombie posts in my blog and I have had numerous zombie dreams.
ReplyDeleteSorry - I said Wilbur, but what I meant to say was Wendel... which is an equally nerdy name - until you're referring to OUR HERO MR. WENDEL CLARK!
ReplyDeletePlease consider your blogname officially changed to Wendel.